Off to New England

To borrow a phrase from Willie Nelson....

"We're on the road again. Here we are back on the road again. Our friends and family think we've lost our minds, but then, we can't wait to be on the road again!"

The Holland extended family crew is back on the road this summer, and while we saw a lot of corn in 2007, we expect this trip will be marked by lots of traffic.

We have headed north for three weeks, with a northern-most destination of Bar Harbor, Maine. On the first day (yesterday) we made it all the way to Annapolis, Maryland, with few complaints. Even the campground is fairly decent. I don't know if we've just lowered our expectations or if the "new" of traveling has just worn off or if I am just a little more excited about our itinerary, but it seems that we just got in the car and took off this time. No drama, no nothing, just gassed up and went.

That said, my mother spend two weeks cooking ahead of time, and Cheryl bought new tires and a vanity plate for her pull-behind camper, so I'm sure someone put in some work before we piled in.

This year, we should be posting a lot more, as I have an Alltel wireless internet connection. No more connecting in the laundry room, middle of a field, or at the mercy of a coot in the middle of nowhere. Where is the fun in this trip???? It's only the second day... I'm sure there's an overnight in a Wal-Mart parking lot somewhere in our future.

It's time to shower our dirty children. I will post pictures from our day in GORGEOUS Annapolis, MD tomorrow.

Ode to the Fish

We have two fish: Mr. Fish and Mister Fish. Mr. Fish is a big, fat, fantail and Mister Fish is a black moor who has a swim bladder condition that causes him to spend most of his day floating upside down. When people come to visit, we have to explain to them up front that Mister Fish is not dead, just resting until he regains his equilibrium. I don’t know what is more sad: Mister Fish floating helplessly while being pelted by the water flowing from the filter, or Mister Fish trying in vain to swim down to the bottom for a morsel of food, only to have to give up and pop to the surface like a cork in the ocean.

Anyway, I started to write a song about our fish, which is an offshoot of a song our daughter, Carsyn, made up one afternoon in the car, titled, “Old Darn Fish.” It goes like this:

Old Darn Fish, Everytime our eyes meet
Old Darn Fish, They want something to eat
Old Darn Fish, One swims upside down
Old Darn Fish, While the other swims around

I know, pretty bad. Today, something happened that prompted me to scrap the song and write a short children’s story instead. Here goes:

Two fish—Mr. Fish and Mister Fish—lived together in a spacious albeit sometimes untidy aquarium. Somedays, Mister Fish would get this strange sensation that caused him to float upside down while Mr. Fish just kept on swimming, swimming, swimming, never offering him any help.

To most people, Mister Fish looked dead, but he wasn’t. Until one day, he was.

The end.

I would like to say that Mr. Fish misses Mister Fish, but so far he has said nothing of the sort and continues to swim around as if nothing is wrong. Go figure.

Hold my hand, PLEASE!

It was bound to happen, and today my six-year-old son decided to cut the public apron strings by passing up an opportunity to hold my hand on the way into school.
Not willing to miss an opportunity to embarrass him, I called out loudly to the principal who was standing by the door.

"Mrs. Swaim, Mrs. Swaim!" I called out. "This young man needs to go to the office for failing to hold his mother's hand on the way into school."
Of course she played along, admonishing him for shunning the woman who carried him for nine months, labored for eight hours, and gave up countless hours of sleep to ensure his very existance.

Good thing I've been expecting this, as there was a time I, myself, had no parents. Sure, there was this "guy" who drove me to school in junior high school and insisted on a kiss in front of all of my friends. He was relagated to dropping me off a block away to ensure no one saw him.
Yes, I looked a lot like him. Yes, he was in my baby pictures... but father? No way.
Same with the lady who sometimes hung around too long when she dropped me off at the skating rink. The same guy sometimes picked us up from there, and often he showed up in work boots, army pants and a v-neck t-shirt. He was instructed to stand outside while Cheryl and I changed from our skates into our Candies high-heeled shoes (combined with the green eyeshadow) that made us look more stupid than he ever did.

I still wonder where along the way kids get the idea that the very notion of "having parents" is not cool. I mean, where do they think THEY came from? Do we need to start sex education a little sooner?

Who decided it was cooler to have parents who were "invisible" than a cohesive unit who actually cared?

Good thing this phase is usually fleeting. It turns out that my parents were quite popular among my friends, and by high school I was pleased to have them nearby.
Still, I will probably never forgive my father for his choice of clothing when picking us up at Skateland. He loved to embarrass us; it was a game to him that he enjoyed immensely.
And to my own son, Cameron, I say... let the games begin!

We are back

It has been two weeks since we arrived back home, and for some reason our last post does not show unless you click on August. I'm putting up this test message to see if it helps.

We had a great time and are already planning our next trip, possibly to New England. The kids are back in school and we are settling back into a routine. No sweeping Michigan soil out of the trailer in Wisconsin, etc. !

Mark Twain, Abe Lincoln and The Creation

This week we have been making our way back toward North Carolina, and while we planned to “make tracks” while stopping to see a few things, we’ve found that the “few things” were worth seeing for more than an hour or two. To make up the time, we’ve had to stay in a Wal-Mart parking lot twice (due to traveling so late), which is always a bit comical. In the last post, I mentioned the weedeaters… well, at our stop in Indianapolis, we were serenaded by the sound of 18-wheel truck idling nearby in the parking lot only to be replaced by the city buses that evidently begin their daily runs in this parking lot, too.

The two stops that have extended our trip a bit were Hannibal, Missouri; Springfield, Illinois; and Cincinnati, Ohio. In Hannibal, we visited Mark Twain’s boyhood home, which was very well presented. The museum, along with his actual home, the homes of Becky Thatcher and Huck Finn, his dad’s place of work, and a few other noteworthy sites were full of relicts, photos, and, of course, Twain’s famous sayings. The kids realized how good they have it when they saw pictures of Tom being whipped by his school teacher. We took a riverboat ride that everyone enjoyed, too. Hannibal had a lot of fantastic shops and antique stores that we would have loved to visited had it not been for the kids.

Next, we headed to Springfield, Missouri, to see the Lincoln Presidential Museum, which far outpaced our expectations. New in 2002, this was a state-of-the-art museum that did a beautiful job of telling the story of Abraham, Mary, their children, and the politics of the time. Unfortunately we did not budget enough time to see the entire museum along with his home (which has been preserved) and the inside of his tomb, which was equally impressive. We did see his law office and the state capitol building of his time. Springfield also is worth another visit… I’m hoping to find a super saver fair to Springfield to come back and see everything, and maybe without the kids! They are so funny in museums – they get so tired of us stopping to read the displays. I guess I would, too, if I were six!

The kids were able to dress up like Abe and his family, which I would have liked to do. Cameron indicated that he was NOT going to smile for the picture; I think he has picked up on the fact that no one is smiling in "old-fashioned" pictures. My grandmother once said it was because they didn't have much to smile about back then. After this picture, he asked Hannah to sit down next to him, like Mary Todd sat next to Lincoln in the Ford Theatre. Then he instructed me to shoot him, but only when he gave the cue. The two of them sat down, and after a few quiet moments, he said, "Ok, you can shoot me now." I'm not sure that it happened that way in real life... but I followed his orders, firing a pointer finger into his head and uttering pow, at which time he proceeded to fall on the floor dead. I think the kids are learning some history!

Yesterday we went to Cincinnati, Ohio, to see the new Creation Museum, which opened in May. It was interesting, to say the least. For once during this trip I find myself at a loss for words as not to offend the believers or the non-believers. For those who tend to lean in the direction of the literal interpretation of the Bible, it’s worth the trip. The museum was packed with people.

Last night we spent the night in one of the nicest campgrounds we’ve encountered: The Kentucky Horse Park near Lexington. Wow, some of our previous stops could take a lesson. Today we will travel to Mount Airy, then continue home early Sunday to celebrate Ron’s 41st birthday. I know he will be glad to see us!

See everyone back in town. J

Mount Rushmore

With more than 2000 miles logged, we finally made it to Mount Rushmore and the Custer State Park near Keystone, South Dakota. Every red-blooded American should take some time in his or her life to see Mount Rushmore -- it is the most patriotic thing I've done since being a part of Ronald Reagan's inauguration in 1984.

The kids were so excited to see "the Presidents' heads," and while they have very little life experience to know what they were seeing, we all agreed that they had some sense of the pride we have in being Americans, by having such revered leaders with tremendous forthought. It never occurred to me before now, but George Washington had NO IDEA how big the North American continent was when he served as president. Thomas Jefferson had an idea (he commissioned the Lewis & Clark expeditions), but he never ventured past the Blue Ridge Mountains himself.

Back to Mount Rushmore. The "heads" are much higher on the mountain than we expected. The sculptor, knowing that WWI British soldiers practiced their shooting on the Sphinx, wanted them high so it would be a lot of trouble for future generations to deface them. We were there in the evening and watch the sun set behind the sculpture before disappearing into the night, only to be majestically lit at the close of a program that included all vets and service people introducing themselves on a stage before a packed amphitheatre.

In addition to seeing Rushmore, we also visited the Crazy Horse Memorial, which is a mammoth sculpture that's been underway since the 40s, and the Custer State Park, home to bison, prairie dogs (big rat/squirrel-type animals), and the black-footed feret. We dodged Sturgis bikers left and right, and this guy stopped in the middle of my picture. Check out his biker babe on the back!

We got a little lazy in Keystone... maybe because we were road weary, maybe because of the high altitudes. With several things left to do, we cut our losses and took in Jewel Cave, the second longest cave in the world. Well, no jewels, and we all agreed now that we don't need to see another cave. We did get a kick out of the ranger who guided us though the tour who thought he was funny, but he wasn't. I called him, "Ranger Ding Dong," which the kids thought was hysterical. Now we cannot get them to stop saying it, which could be a problem if they decide to attach the name to a teacher or a kid somewhere down the road. I will not include a photo of Ranger Ding Dong to protect the innocent.

We pulled out of Keystone on Monday and drove about 350 miles to Nebraska... somewhere in Nebraska... and slept in a Wal-Mart parking lot for the second time during this trip. I need to get a picture of us there. We love to shop at Wal-Mart during these stops... our kids are so dirty and bruised from playing, with bandaids hanging off their legs, ankles and feet that I fear social services will come knocking at our trailer door each morning. On this particular Wal-Mart morning, however, we were awoken to the sound of weed-eaters attacking the grass in the Wal-Mart parking lot islands. At least we had bread and other provisions from Wal-Mart, however... we have been hard pressed to find grocery stores out here. They are not on every corner like they are at home. No CVS and Walgreens competing for business on opposing corners, either.

Last night we got so excited about the prospect of another "great" campground in Hannibal, Missouri. I have not had a chance to upload photos yet, so I'll leave you to imagine what we found when we got there... more tomorrow or the next day...

The Badlands

This is the second new post (the last one covered five days and was getting long), so be sure to read that post before reading this one... (if you can't see it, look under August for "Wisconsin...")

Tuesday we arrived in the Badlands of South Dakota, just in time for a marvelous sunset drive through the weathered buttes that look like giant sandcastles lining a prairie sea. The word "surreal" doesn't even begin to describe these lunar-like hills that took millions of years to build up, then erode in the dry, windy west.

The setting sun cast a pinkish hue on what appeared creamy white in the morning. Absolutely gorgeous. I can't believe it took my 40 years to get here!

Once again, we found ourselves disappointed with our camping arrangements only to set up camp and quickly feel at home. The Badlands Ranch and Resort is no resort. A small shack served as office and general store, and they guy behind the counter was a weathered coot. That said, we were wildy impressed by the sunset horseback tour, which made it all worthwhile.

On Wednesday morning, we set out for the Badlands and decided to take a "hike" into the hills. Mom bowed out immediately-- the temperatures were in the 90s, but felt much hotter because there was nary a tree in sight.

Cheryl picked the more difficult trail, which included a climb to the next level that looked a lot worse coming down than it did coming up. Here we were with five little kids, and if Ron had been along on this adventure, he would have shot me for taking the kids up there. Next thing we knew, we were walking a long a ledge that was getting tighter and tighter. My fear got the best of me, and it started to spread to the kids, who cowered in a crevice until we decided to turn around and get down.

Dad went on a bit... here's a picture of him through the zoom lens... and a picture he took of us on the other side. We look like ants. We made it down and worked our way back to the car. Not sure what view we missed, but it wasn't worth losing a kid over the side.

After working our way back down the ladder, we checked out some fossils and headed back to camp to get ready for the sunset horseback ride (and some laundry, but that's not fun). We set out about 6:45 p.m., just as the sun was working its way toward the western horizon. It was nothing short of spectacular. We wound our way along the edge of a cliff overlooking the fertile valley of the White River before cutting down steep, winding passages to the river banks. Prairie grass is plentiful, and the horses wanted to stop frequently to dine. We worked our way back up to the plain above the cliff just in time to watch the sun disappear over the horizon before heading back to camp. This was a highlight of our trip!

My brother-in-law, Rudy, flew out last night to join us for four days. We took off this morning for Keystone, South Dakota, the farthest point of our trip. We stopped at Wall Drug for lunch and a look around. This is Sturgis week, so motorcycles are everywhere-- all over the Badlands, all over Keystone, all over this entire stretch of South Dakota.

We finally reached our Keystone campground and plan to visit Mount Rushmore tomorrow. This is what the kids came for, and I hope they enjoy it!